Pest Control The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through our house
Not a creature was stirring, except for one mouse.
Cheese mouse traps were set by the back door with care

In hopes that the mouse would get hungry back there.

The children were snuggled and warm in their beds,
While a choir full of rappers rapped hymns in their heads.
My wife in her ‘jamas with my head on her lap,
Were praying that one of our mouse traps would snap.

Then all of a sudden we heard up above us

The laughter of Santa – He surely does love us!

We quietly tiptoed downstairs to behold

Santa warming his hands for outside it was cold.

On the fireplace hung all our stockings with names;
Some were already loaded with Nintendo games.

He ate milk and cookies we had left for his meal

When what should we hear but a womanly squeal.

Then Santa jumped up right onto our chair

And saw us in shock opened mouths standing there.

“I just saw a mouse!” the old chubby man screamed.

(This wasn’t the visit our children had dreamed.)

“Stay up on the chair.” I suggested to Santa.

“Would you like a drink?’ asked my wife. “We’ve got Fanta!”
“No thanks.” said Sir Claus, calming down just a bit.

“Just kill that dang mouse before I throw a fit!”

I said “We’ve got traps out by the back door.

We’ve killed other mouses like this one before.”

“It’s mice – not mouses” the scared Santa Claus cried.

And I thought, “Hmm… does He realize that I lied.”

We’ve tried to kill “mice” but it never has worked.
Then I noticed how Santa’s legs and arms jerked.

“Calm down!” I demanded. I have a scheme.”

So I called a professional pest control team.

And then, in a twinkling, the front door bell rang.

“They’ve come for the mouse!” thankful Santa Claus sang.

It was Fredrick and Fred. They went right to work.

They trapped that big mouse and then turned with a jerk.

“Thank you!” I said as they rode out of sight.

“You guys have saved Santa and us too tonight!”

Then Santa got down from the chair with a sigh.

And told me, “Do you know that I know when you lie?”

“I’m sorry, dear Santa. Please don’t give me coal.

I have tried hard all year to be a good soul.”

Then the twinkle returned to his eyes and his dimples.

His nose and his cheeks were all shining like pimples.

“I’m joking, my boy. I know you’ve behaved.
But I wish you would lie and tell the world I was brave.”

“Tell them you were screaming and losing your head

While I with my gift bag smashed the mouse dead.”

We had a good laugh for a while then he said,

“If you two want presents, then go back to bed!”

We hugged and then went to our room up the stairs

Knowing full well that Santa was real and he cares.

We heard him exclaim as his sleigh left our house,

“Thank you pest control people for killing that mouse!”